Smiling depression

ByNatasha K. Thomas, L.M.F.T.

January 8, 2024
First, what is depression? The APA defines depression as a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you think, act, and feel. It is also crucial to acknowledge that a combination...
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Projecting Regret Onto People

ByNatasha K. Thomas, L.M.F.T.

January 8, 2024
Have you been guilty of telling people to rekindle relationships, so they don’t regret it if something happens to that person? You might think you're helping, but you're often not. FYI, I hate this...
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Let’s start the New Year by focusing on me!

ByNatasha K. Thomas, L.M.F.T.

January 8, 2024
Start a gratitude journal. Keep track of things, people, and events you're grateful for throughout the year. "It breathes new life into you.” Make time for family. With the busyness of our daily...
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Ways to Cope with Change

ByNatasha K. Thomas, L.M.F.T.

December 5, 2023
The one constant in life is change. That doesn't mean we ever get used to it we just learn how to embrace it fully. Acknowledge that things are changing around you. Sometimes we get so caught up in...
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What am I leaving and taking with me in this new year?

ByNatasha K. Thomas, L.M.F.T.

December 4, 2023
Can you believe it’s already December? It came so quickly. The new year is approaching, and I think it's a good time to reflect on what you are taking with you in the New Year and what you are leaving...
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Death, Loss, & Grief in a Hispanic Household

ByNatasha K. Thomas, L.M.F.T.

December 4, 2023
Hispanic cultures are very accepting of death. We have festivities about Dia de los Muertos, which translates to “Day of the Dead.” However, often, families rarely speak about the grieving process...
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A common thing I hear in sessions is this core belief that people have surrounding asking for help. When we explore this, most people were taught this at a very young age, and the meaning behind it is weakness or the inability to figure it out by yourself, which must mean you’re incompetent. Society could be another reason why people have taken on this core belief. Society is always glorifying, self-reliant, and independent and somehow showcases asking for help as defeat. If we have a core belief surrounding asking for negative help, we’re saying that we should be perfect people. The problem with this unrealistic belief is that there is no such thing as perfect; we all need help, and not asking for it impacts us in many negative ways. 

For the purpose of this article, I want us to change our perspective and shift to the positive aspects of asking for help in hopes that this will help you ask for the things that you need.

1. It demonstrates strength. We’re taught that it shows weakness, but asking for health is a sign of strength. And I want to be clear, but that doesn’t mean we can’t do it. Sometimes, it means I don’t have to do it by myself. Let’s say you’re having friends over, of course, and you could probably cater everything and set up and decorate by yourself. However, you could also ask friends to assist with some of these tasks so that you don’t tire yourself out or stress yourself out trying to do it all.

2. It shows self-awareness. It shows that we recognize our limits when we need assistance and that asking for help is okay. I find it very common that many of my clients have ignored their needs and don’t pay attention to their bodily sensations or how they feel when they’re overwhelmed or stressed out. Self-awareness helps you start being aware of how you think and your limitations.

3. It helps our mental health. A lot of clients that I see walking around with a lot of stress and anxiety surrounding things that they don’t have to do by themselves because they do have support by asking for what they need.

4. It helps you to reframe your negative core belief that asking for help is a sign of weakness. When you change this behavior, you are now developing your definition of asking for help and highlighting that it is a sign of strength, not a weakness. It is so powerful for you to do that for yourself and start living by your core belief, not one that’s been projected onto you by society or other people.