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Published:September 1, 2022

An abuser is only as strong as the person carrying their secret

This is a sensitive topic, I know. Here are the statistics and the truth per the Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network which reports that 93% of children were victimized by someone they know, and 34% are family members. Reasons why someone may not speak about their sexual trauma vary. Some of the reasons I have heard are, "No one will believe me, No one will believe that ______ did that because they are well respected in the community/church, he/she only touched me, that's it, it was so long ago and I was so young, they could be deported, they financially support us and if I told, what will happen to us, or, I didn't know I could say anything because no one in my family talks about things like this." Your reasons for not speaking about your trauma are your own. I want to share with you that you don't owe your abuser anything, not even your silence. The shame, and guilt that you may be carrying does not belong to you, it belongs to your abuser. They may have told you the abuse was your fault, that you should've worn something else, that you're overly developed, that you wanted it, or that no one would believe you, or you shouldn't break up the family, or they may tell you how much they love you in an attempt to groom, manipulate and control you. You deserve to be free from the secret, and when you're ready, you tell your story, your way. 

If you or someone you know is in need of help to deal with any of the information you read above call

National Sexual Assault Hotline 800-656-HOPE

-Natasha Thomas, LMFT

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