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Published:March 5, 2023

Do as I say and not as I do

Interestingly enough parents will ask their children to “do as I say and not what I do”. Have you considered the type of learner your child is? Is your child a visual, auditory, kinesthetic, or read/write learner? With these examples I want to create a few analogies for you.

  1. Your child sees you getting up everyday at 6 am to work out.
  2. Your child see domestic violence in the home
  1. Your child hears you tell his mother how much you love her everyday
  2. Your child hears you tell yourself how you’re stupid and worthless because you didn’t get the job you applied for.
  1. You and your child bakes a cake/cookies every weekend for the weeks desserts
  2. Your child sees you hit the wall everytime you are upset
  1. Your child sees you reading a book
  2. Your child never sees you read anything

Consider how your child learns and ask yourself about the message you are communicating to your child. It may not be intentional; however, children will NOT do as you have said, and they will most likely mimic their experiences based on their learning styles. Remember, they are watching, hearing, interacting, and mirroring behavior from the moment they take their first breath.

Natasha Thomas-LMFT

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