I see several couples who are interested in working on their relationship. It is important to establish a few “ground rules” to assist you in that process. Let’s begin with three assumptions. Let’s assume that….
#1. Your partner has done their best in the relationship. Consider their capacity to give you what you are asking for. Some require the space to grow and develop.
#2. Your partner wants help and so do you; you are BOTH here.
#3. Your partner is aware of how stressful and tiring it is to not be at peace with you.
Now, let’s set four ground rules before you begin and as you continue in therapy.
#1. BE IN IT! Commit to the process and commit to each other.
#2. Be careful, not harmful when listening and speaking. Everyone has something that should be handled delicately. Make room for growth and trust when sharing and listening to sensitive information. Become a big heart with ears
#3. Ask a question instead of assuming. For example. “Was it your intention for that comment to be hurtful?” Try not to assume you know what your partner is communicating. Ask them to be sure. #4. Connect with your partner before you decide to correct them. (A little love goes a long way) Be deliberate about the words you speak to each other. Let your partner know it is safe to share their concerns with you and you are mature enough to hear their request and respond