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Published:November 1, 2022

One shoe does NOT fit all.

This is a question for my Parents. Have you ever wondered, "Why is this punishment not working with this kid, but it worked with the others"? You are an individual and I want you to view your children in the same light. Everyone has a different communication style and what may work for you, may not work for someone else. Your children are the same way, they are just children. Here is a suggestion:

Gary Chapman wrote a book entitled, "The 5 Love Languages." You can also Google what the languages are. Look for your child's love language. Use this tool to help you communicate with your child. If your child's love language is quality time, this is the way your child gives and receives love. Their punishment should not be to go to their room because the interpretation of that punishment will impact their love language development. Choose another way to discipline. For them, you may not give them the toy truck they ask for the next time they join you at the store. Your language must meet your child's language or else there will be a communication breakdown. Each child may "speak a different language." Seek to speak their language. Your child can have multiple love languages and you can adjust your style to meet the needs of each of your children. Find the right shoe that fits your child and watch them blossom.

Natasha Thomas, LMFT.

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