an we normalize the challenges in parenting? Yes, we love our children and would do anything for them, but can we stop acting like it’s always a rainbow and sprinkles? I see countless women who feel “mom guilt” for being tired, annoyed, overwhelmed, and sometimes even checking out. Here is the reality: you're not just a mom. Sometimes you are an employee, a spouse, mother, father, aunt, uncle, friend, etc. You carry multiple roles with expectations, and at times, that is tiring. I have to remind many of my client’s that they work long hours and then have to come home to children who are mommy-ing/daddy-ing you, demanding attention, attending awards and sports events, feeding them, bathing them, reading them stories, playing with them and do homework and the list goes on. Yes, you did sign up for this role, but that doesn’t mean you also aren't human, and it can’t be challenging. In a perfect world, if all we had to do was be a parent with no other responsibility, motherhood and fatherhood would look very different, but that is not the case for most of us. So give yourself a break and a pat on the pack for being a great mother.
Here is a list of things to remind yourself that you are a BADASS MAMA (this is a compliment), self-care tips, and coping mechanisms to help you in motherhood.
- Decompress before coming home or once you get home. Ask for 30 minutes to an hour if you can
- Listen to positive affirmations to remind yourself your awesome
- Wake up early before everyone to have quiet time
- Take yourself on a date
- Don’t overcompensate (doing things out of guilt for your children)
- Take a weekend to yourself, a day to yourself or half the day to yourself frequently.
- Talk to your support system often
- Seek a Therapist
- Join a moms/ dads groups
- Drink water
- Go to your routine doctor appts and eye exams
-Shareela Allen- LCSW